When i was 10 years old, still a primary four kid, this particular incident occured. It is still so vividly clear, that it hurts still even thinking of it. I was head over heels gaga over sailormoon at that time, though it still occupy a soft spot in me even now.


I remember it was at IMM, that i saw this sailormoon polly pocket toy. But unlike polly pocket, the figurine was about the size of a palm, where the features of the toy was sharply made. I cant remember if i had created a ruckus, but my dad bought it for me in the end. The toy doesnt cost cheap, and it was one of the few toys that my parents pampered me with. Naturally, i treasured it dearly. So much so that i brought it to school with me everyday, slept with it, and carry it around whenever i go, and played with the house and the figurine every night.


Once, our class had to go for this school excursion to a water plant. By then, almost everyone in my class already learn of my new found love for the figurine, which i brought it with me during the trip. A few of the guys were playing around with it, and threatened to dump it into the reservoir while we were crossing over the bridge, just for the fun of it. I snatched it back and clasp it tightly in my palm all the way till we reached school.


Then one day, i was on the public bus, on my way home from school. I actually dropped the figurine on the seat and alighted at the interchange. I was panic-strickened when i finally realised it's gone and ran back to the office to request to check the bus. I was alone at that time and only a primary four kid. When i described to the person what i've left on the bus, he replied that there isn't anything on the bus when he checked, and i couldn't do anything about it, as much as i dont believe.


Because of this, i cried silently in my bed that night, not daring to let my parents know. I still remembered that i cried and think so much about it that i dreamt that i found it lying on the floor, and it was so real. But the more genuine it feels, the more the heartache comes tapping when you're awake.


Till now, i still kept the box of the toy, and it's been 12 years, because that's all i have to remember how the figurine looks like.


And last sat, the same old shit feeling came back to me like deja vu. I lost the necklace wr gave me for my 21st birthday, the one which i've been wearing around my neck eversince. I dont even know where do i lose it, for i've place it in my handphone pouch on my way to facial, so i could have lose it anywhere when i took out my phone.


I only realised it on Sun morning when i was looking in the mirror and it felt so painful. I called and called wr to ask him what shall i do. He said the possibility of me finding it again if i trace back my footsteps will be near to zero, but go ahead if it will make me accept the loss. So i did. And as expected, it was nowhere to be found.


I recalled lots of thing when i reached home. I remembered wr telling me he was saving for this necklace for quite a long time, because it's quite pricey. I remembered how he told he happily over the phone when he finally purchased it, after one of his DB trainings. I remembered how he presented it to me during my 21st birthday. I remembered how pleased i am to be wearing it around my neck. I remembered how the tiny diamonds glittered under the sun when i was struggling to do push ups during my trainings. And all these lil memories makes me wanna cry, exactly how i felt 12 years ago.


wr was not in any bit angry or disappointed with me. He consoled me by saying "Don't cry. Im still with ya".